'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'4) MORE NUDITYA little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'5) POLICE #1While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes, ' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right, ' I told her. 'Well, then, ' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'6) POLICE #2It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station ... As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,. ”I conceded the point. “I know you’re right, Steve, but somebody’s going to have to take the lead someday. We can’t keep going like we have been because the planet just can’t take it much longer.”“I suppose you’re right about that. My wife and I do about everything we can to minimize our carbon footprint, but I doubt we’re having all that much of an impact. Hell, I feel guilty as hell every time I fire up that Suburban out there because it’s such a gas guzzler. I’d be happy riding a horse like my counterparts from the old west, but I’d have a hell of a time chasing down some guy in a muscle car who just knocked over a convenience store.”“I know, I know. I’m just afraid we’ve already done too much damage. Over all, I don’t think we human types have done a very good job looking after our poor little blue marble in space. Wish there was some place we could go to give it another try, don’t you?”He chuckled, “That’d be nice wouldn’t it? But not in our lifetime. We’re stuck with what we.
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