The look of pleasure on his face said he was enjoying it more. He let me up a few inches then began to pump me from underneath, going all the way in on each thrust. This went on awhile, every now and then he rested and had me moving, but for the most part him doing the fucking. While fucking me he began to kiss me and I eagerly returned his kisses. Daddy then had me get off his lap. He put a couch cushion on the floor. He had me position myself so my head and shoulders were on the cushion and my torso and legs were on the couch. He said he saw this on a porn site and wanted to try it. He then flipped my legs over so my feet were on the ground. Facing the couch, Daddy put a leg on each side of me, bent his knees and began forcing his thickness into me. It hurt a lot and I begged him to stop. He paused , staying in me, but began smacking my ass hard. “If you whine, I’ll tan your slutty ass when I’m done. Now hold onto my legs so you don’t move.” Fighting back tears I held. As I have mentioned before, I am now subject to periods of madness which I lovingly refer to as reality being bendy. Last night I awoke in a state of full blown terror and internal reality was absolutely bendy. Back in the day, I’ve done things they say make LSD look like bathwater in comparison and last night it was full speed ahead welcome to hell.Normally, I have for lack of a better words an anchor. I know which way is up so to speak. Not this time, I was drowning. None of my normal tricks like telling myself this is just a trip was working. I was losing my grip. I was scared I was going to start doing crazy shit like running in traffic or killing goblins disguised as my family members in the real world. I was free falling in the madness.As I’ve mentioned, I’ve practiced various forms of Magick throughout my life. Since my illness, I have leaned heavily into the myth and culture of my Ancestors. I’ve also restarted some of my magickal practices. It suits me and I find comfort in.
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