Let me see what I can do." Thanks, Eileen. And thanks, Chrissy," I said with a smile. Sometimes, peer pressure is a good thing.They went downstairs; I stayed behind, but listened carefully as Eileen began to pound the ivories. She was clumsy at first, but in typical fashion, she learned quickly. When I believed she was almost ready, down the stairs I went with the guitar."My idea is very simple," I explained to Eileen. "You do the piano part, and I'll handle the vocals and the guitar." Oh, this should be amazing!" Chrissy squealed. Eileen didn't seem as confident about that, but she nonetheless nodded, motioning for me to begin.It took us several tries to even approximate mastering it. Of course, no one else knew this, but I had experience in coordinating with other musicians, whereas Eileen really didn't, except when it came to vocals. I had to coach her through it."As soon as you hear me sing 'word, ' come right in with the piano," I directed.But it wasn't long until we almost had. Already the hair has grown so that the dark roots are visible. I putthat down to the hormones. I swear that those drugs make my hair growfaster.Still he says that I am too manly and unattractive to Scott. I amtrying. I have practiced looks in the mirror. Little upward glancesacross the kitchen with a little smile, as if to say: "Hi there, I'm asilly little girl just like the kind you might fall in love with".Sometimes I think that I am getting somewhere, and then he puts me down.Then I think that he must hate me. He seems to enjoy making me cry. Inever used to cry, when I was a man. Now I just blubber like a babywhenever he is nasty to me.I just accept it. I hope and pray that tomorrow will be better - thattomorrow he will appreciate all that I have done, all that I have givenaway, to be his.Diary Entry 20He barely notices me, but other people do. I used to see my staff in thekitchen talking about me and maybe giggling, as if saying: "There is thechef who is trying to be a.
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