She hastened through the black iron gate that surrounded the grounds and up the four steps to the door. Taking a deep breath, she took hold of the knocker and banged it sharply, then crossed her arms and waited. ‘Someone had better answer this thing but quick.’ she muttered, even as she began tapping her foot impatiently. She was tired of waiting, of stupid people, of the necessity of having to even make this trip. There was the sound of brisk footsteps, and then the door was opened by a middle-age man in livery of black and copper. ‘May I help you?’ Her eyes drifted up and down him, with disdain and scorn flashing in her dried blood colored eyes, ‘Hmmmm, yes you will help me, I seek the Lord of this Manor, Nickodemus Bedlam. I will speak with him.’ Phillip drew himself upright and matched her look with one that bordered on pure snobbery. ‘Indeed madam… and whom might I tell him is insisting on seeing him at this hour?’ His eyes flickered up and down her with hauteur. This woman,. Mandy stepped up to me and kneeled beside me. She wrapped me in herarms as I started to cry. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry!" she said. Ireturned her hug and cried on her shoulder. I felt like I'd lost Boband I hurt down to my core. But he had hit me, and all that I'd beentaught since I could understand words was that it was wrong for men tohit women, that men that did that were scum and deserved to sufferpunishment. How could Bob hit me? I wasn't a woman or even a regulargirl, but I thought he loved me. And I thought I loved him, but atthat moment all I felt was hurt and anger. As I cried I realized thatit was my fault. I was the one that chose to suck off Paul; no-onemade me do it. I felt so low and worthless. I really was a slut, andI cried because there was nothing I could or would do about it. Itwas who I was, and who I wanted to be, forever. As I calmed down inMandy's arms I realized how true her words were, that I couldn't havea single boyfriend. I started to see that.
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