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" Chelsea winked. "Just k**ding. I'm going to do the shopping. Do you want anything special?" No. But hang on. I'll give you some money."A minute later Elaine heard the front door close. She tried not to think about the fact that Messenger was still open as she brought Gary's email to the front and read it. As she expected, he had given concise explanations of the terms she hadn't been sure about.She worked through her checklist, filling in the blanks and getting more nervous by the minute. As she reread her answers, images and feelings inundated her. Staring at the hundreds of answers she'd given, she had a thought.I should send this to him.The next thought didn't take long in coming.Wait until after you've met. 'Take your time'. Remember?With her chest thumping, she lay down on her bed and wondered what she was getting into. Elaine placed her left hand over her heart, feeling it pound, while her hardened nipple pulsed against the inside of her wrist.It took her a little by surprise. I rolled over and saw a picture of James. Why him? Why Him, why him?!? I think it is more like why me. I thought he was the perfect roommate, everyone said I had nothing to worry about. He was always willing to spring for pizza or a flick. So why did I fall for him? How could he do that to me? Most of all, how could I love him and hate him at the same time. The memory seeps through me and all the pain from that day came flooding through. I could not stop the tears from falling, this was the first time since it happened that I had the opportunity to feel real emotion. The pain I endured that night hit me hard. I willed the tears to stop but the stubborn tears wouldn’t subside. I curled up as small as I could, drawing the covers over my head. I just wish I would disappear and this chest pounding pain was a dream I want to wake up tomorrow and all this pain be gone. I yearn for it to go back to normal, why can’t I just be normal again? My sobs echoed in the dark, empty room. It seemed.
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