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And when I ended up in county I was scared, small, and timid -scared out of my wits -and it marked me the minute I carried my mattress into the cellblock. Long story short I was ****d and turned out as a jail house "woman," owned by a man who pimped me out on the block. And that's why Sherlyn dumped me. She came to visit one day, and some fuckin hater correctional officer told her what I had become behind the walls. Sherlyn confronted me when I came out. I tried to deny it, before finally breaking into tears and admitting everything. I begged her for understanding, I told her that if I didn't do what these men demanded I could be killed. I'll never forget the look of utter disgust on my wife's face when she stood up and walked out of the visiting room without looking back. I got the divorce papers a few weeks later.After my release I tried to go back to being a guy, but I soon found out that I had gotten used to all the attention I had received in county. In there I had been a woman.. Steph did find a manager, but one who better understood the alt-folk scene. She went on to play as singer and guitarist with many other bands: including the River Bank on whose records she’s sung duets with John River. But Steph wasn’t a talented composer and never made much impact as a solo artist. Although we lived together for nearly a decade, she never understood or appreciated House music or Drum & Bass or Techno or any of my club-oriented musical obsessions. She supported me as best she could when I released my own records, but it was always a mystery to her how I could prefer electronic beats and samples to the beauty of an acoustic instrument and an unmediated human voice. I sympathise with her taste in music more now than I did when we were lovers. In any case, when we were living together it was a point of pride that we keep our spheres of musical taste apart. But even now when I hear a piece of music by Bob Dylan or Nick Drake or Joni Mitchell or Leonard Cohen I always.
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