A Very Pretty Indian Slut
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he canstop any time• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.• When chemists die, they barium.• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.• Velcro - what a rip off!• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t. " Mike, that's wonderful," she gushed. "I'm so happy to see you growing up."Dad grinned and said, "Mary, I think Mike is trying to ask you nicely not to be so ready to overreact when there is a conflict between the kids." Well, I never..." Mom started to retort. But Dad interrupted her and added, "Mike, I'm glad you and Julie are trying to work out your differences. You can count on our help." Thanks, Dad," I said. "I appreciate it." Me too," Julie added. "It'll be nice to have less drama at home."Just then, Lisa came back down with her overnight bag and said, "I'm ready. When do you want to go?" We can go now if you like," I replied. "Julie, do you want to come with us?" Sure," she said. "Let's go."As we were walking out the door, Dad said, "Try to be quiet when you get back. Your mother and I are exhausted; we'll probably take a nap." OK, Dad," I said. "This may take a while; you know how girls are when they are picking out what to wear especially for a whole week."Julie punched me.
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