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In the final game of the Detroit series, I took the collar. Just when I thought all was well, I went oh-for-five. We lost that one, and I deserved some of the credit for the no-show of the Orioles' offense.I called Sandy after the game, even though it was already close to midnight."Did you hear what happened?" Yeah. I listened to the radio." I went oh-for-five!" Yeah." Jesus, Sandy!" Hey, nobody ever said you were going to hit every night." I'm used to hitting every night!" Bullshit. Who do you think you are, Joe DiMaggio?"The great Yankee, Joe DiMaggio, holds the all-time record for hits in consecutive games. He got at least one hit in each of 56 regular-season games. Incredible.Joe DiMaggio -- much like Theodore Samuel Williams -- was a far greater hitter than I ever hoped to be. Like Williams, Joltin' Joe hit for power as well as for average. His consecutive games record -- like Ted's .406 batting average -- was considered damned near unapproachable.Both records had remained. A complete setting of china on the table with silverware and crystal; In the living room, a riding crop and paddle for those moments when I do not come up to her expectations. The bedroom has a few items that are also laid out, an inflatable penis gag, black PVC hood that has two holes for the nose and a zipper for the mouth and a big black latex dildo set-up in Her strap-on harness.I take one look around the house and try to think of anything that I have missed, nothing crosses my mind, so I light some candles and slide the pop can sized plug in my butt. I wait on my knees by the front door until She comes home, this is so that when She comes through the door I can kiss Her feet and thank Her for letting me be Her's. Tonight turns out a little different, as She has brought a friend home with Her. I am told to offer the same greeting to our guest and quickly set another place at the table. At this, I shuffle over and kiss the loafers of our guest. I am not able to see their face as.
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