It's Performance Anxiety, We All Suffer From It...

For some reason, it didn't look like a room full of people at all. It was more like a room full of dolls.There was a girl about twenty years old watching him from the end of the bar. Kyle shifted in his seat. Did he know her? Was she one of the ones from last night? He watched until he saw drink and swallow her beer, but even then he didn't relax.He had just made up his mind to leave when she sat down across from him. She was pale (though not as pale as him), with chestnut hair down to her shoulders. She was a skinny thing, too small even to be called petite. She was pretty, but her smile showed too many teeth and there were the hints of bags under her eyes. "Nice night," she said. "I'm almost empty, so I'll let you buy the next." Her laugh sounded like a firecracker. Kyle wanted to leave, but being this close to her transfixed him. He could see (or thought he could see) the patchwork of blue veins running just beneath the surface of her skin, and although he realized he was staring,. A meeting and merging of the souls. That’s when I really got into trouble.So, I began to fantasize. My life became divided. At work, I was a funny, flirty, amazing woman, and then as soon as I got home, I was the responsible mom. Do laundry, clean, vacuum, wash dishes, laundry, cook dinner, bath the child, get everything ready for the next day to avoid any unnecessary hassles. Maybe find an hour for myself; used to secretly plot ideas of how to see mystery man again. Get disciplined for doing stupid things wrong. Let the husband drink until he passed out after making me feel worthless for all the imagined affairs I never had, or the chores I did wrong. I would think, if he has four beers he may pass out early and then I can be amazing work person, not the overcontrolled bullied mom.The first time I fantasized about my wandering mystery man, I had run into him in the hallway at work. He always walked so fast, all the way to one side of the hallway, staring at the floor. It screamed.
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