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I had thought of myself as a monster. I was a nasty and ill-temperedviolent little man. At least I had been. Somehow with all thesehormones that I needed to develop her body I was not like that allanymore. With my nuts gone I no longer had any violent thoughts. Infact, that, or the female hormones, seemed to have made me placid, andeven (dare I say it) content. Maybe even happy.Certainly, suicidal thoughts no longer dominated my thinking. But thefact is that arrangements had been made. I needed to die so thatJanet could die.It was three years ago today, that we drove up to "The Leap". Sheneeded to make sure, you see. We took separate vehicles so mine couldbe left there. We went to the clifftop and looked over. The tide wasout, and the jagged rocks were exposed. That would mean immediatedeath, but if there was any chance of life, the incoming tide wouldtake care of that.She thanked me for what I was doing for her. She said that she waslooking forward to her life as. My place is so hot and now I can't even usemy air conditioner, I'm using a fan for Pete's sake. Some problem withthe power or something." You can spend the night here honey bunny, there's plenty of room." I really like this new way we talk. There's a level of sweetness I neverdared as a man. Todd called me 'honey' about half a dozen times on thephone today and something started happening. Each time he said it, thesound drove deeper, and deeper, straight into my cerebral cortex. Thereverberations changed things. I speak a new language. My choice ofwords, my voice inflection, are all radically different. I sound exactlylike I'm thinking, queer. I'm just hoping I don't sound like a parody. Imean its not like I've picked up a lisp or anything, but I am feelingvery loose lipped and affectionate.Dinner was fun and easy. We never really talked about the obvious forwhich I was grateful. Todd was bursting, I could tell, but he wouldn'task anything. My guess is his gentile southern etiquette,.
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