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I had known it was coming. Hindsight 20/20 and all that, the signs had been there. She had been distancing herself, withdrawing from me. I had been so busy with work in those months, setting up my new firm, burning the candle. Still, I should have noticed that she wasn't acting her old self."I don't want to hear your excuses. It just happened. Bullshit. Maybe, if you had come to me, we could have prevented it."Who knows if that was true or not? Would I have listened to her? Really listened to her concerns and taken them seriously? I was so busy then, and frankly have never been a great listener. If she had come to me right away, would I have gotten us in to see a professional? Given the way I am, or was, almost certainly not. I would have given her lip-service reassurance, I suppose. Tried to explain away her concerns: we're going through a change; new house, new baby, new city new business for me, and new career as a mommy for you. Still, she didn't let me in until it was too late. She also realized that a part of her was rebelling against, not only religion but the culture that oppressed women told them how to dress, how to look and who to talk to. Whilst this was present in all cultures, it was even more so in Pakistani communities, it was true that with time these views had changed but not in her family.Her husband never behaved like a typical Pakistani husband, he didn't put any restrictions on her even when the rest of society did. She remembered how hard she had studied for a Law Degree at university, ready to pursue a career in law and being forced to give that up by her parents who then forced her to get married instead. For that, she had held a deep grudge against her parents and by going against the things they taught her was a way of getting revenge.She knew that she should be grateful to Allah that she was given a husband like Ali but her marriage was non-existent now, meaning that there was nothing to be grateful for anymore. Other wives would have.
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