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Oh god. Oh god god god. Was that what he’d been trying to tell me? My shoulders sagged. No, it couldn’t be that. Could it? I pushed myself off the bed and moved to the small window that looked out over the back gardens and into the trees of the neighbouring courtyard gardens. The wind had picked up, dark clouds scudding low along the ridge of dark trees. I took a moment and just concentrated on breathing. No wonder I’d felt that deja-vu feeling. The first time he’d paced like that, agonising, wretched, he’d told me he cared about me. Cared. The very next day he’d retreated completely. Licking old wounds. Putting up old walls. Retracting the sensitive underbelly he’d dared expose. To me. That’s what he didn’t want to face. Being hurt, and rejected. Just as I’d just rejected him. Steph, you fucking fool. I let my forehead fall against the windowpane with a clunk. The cool of the glass felt good against the burning heat of my skin. And I should be embarrassed. I was such an idiot. All. The normal shapeliness of her breasts was negated by a loose-fitting, light blue cardigan over a floral blouse – house clothes, as was normal when she wasn’t going out, or going to work. But Carol Jackson was the kind that ‘scrubbed up well’, and she could still turn a head or two, attract the odd building site wolf whistle. Not bad for 40. She looked great when she dressed smartly for her office job, either a nice fitting grey pin-stripe trouser suit or navy blue skirt type suit; that’s if she wanted to impress the boss with her legs.Since her husband, Cliff had taken off with some floozy two years previous and never came back, she’d had a succession of men at work wanting to take her out. There’d been a couple of blokes that appealed to her, but things hadn’t worked out because of one thing or another. She found it hard to replace the void left by Cliff; in fact, if she was honest with herself… she still loved him in her heart of hearts. That’s why Jason was so important to her,.
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