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" The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?" I don't know -- put me down for a five."A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven,St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack!"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.The husband calls. Her mission complete, she put it away, stood up, and led me to the bowling alley. I didn’t know heaven was located in Germany, but I wasn’t about to dispute the fact.One night, we were in the movie theater, feeling each other up. We were both sweating and breathing heavily, and she whispered those dreaded words: “Fuck me, please fuck me!” I sat frozen in my chair, thinking about what the world would look like from behind bars. But, she was relentless, and kept pleading for me to fuck her, take her in the woods and fuck her. I told her I didn’t have any protection with me, hoping it would settle her down. “Protection? Protection from what?” she asked. “So I don’t get you pregnant,” I explained. She laughed, and told me I didn’t have to worry about that, because she was on the pill. Her doctor put her on them to regulate her period. I had never heard of anything like that, but I didn’t really need an explanation. We walked out of the movie, and made our way stealthily to.
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