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It takes over my body, relaxing the muscles and whispering to me to move just a little bit closer to him, to close the half-inch gap that still stands between us. I move my body forward. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The gap between us closes and I realize immediately that he has an erection. I can feel it through the taut cloth of his jeans. A part of me wants to draw away again, to blush and apologize and then beat a hasty retreat, but I’m tired of being afraid, afraid of men and afraid of myself. Fear’s been ruling my life for way too long. Instead of drawing away, I angle my hips so that I brush against the front of his jeans when we move. I’m wearing only the most minimal panties, so I wonder if he can feel the wet heat of me underneath my skirt. The thought excites me and I realize that this really is it. I’m going to do it. Not letting myself think anymore, I stand on tiptoe and press my lips to his. He tastes like the liquor we’ve been drinking, and some. I got pretty faded and lay upon the couch to call it a night. It must have been around four in the morning and as I was leaving from a piss, I could hear voices animated in an argument outside the house. Steve and Jessie had shown up. They were both a hot mess from the tone of their arguing. I heard a car door slam and walked toward my front door. Jessie was pounding on the door with the side of her fist, I guessed that Steve was in his car. I quickly let her in.She was animated and mad that I left the party. Jessie began to berate me about the party, being wasted, her brother's being losers because they showed up to the party empty-handed and left, and that Steve was weak. I really wasn't trying to hear that shit. I told her to lower her fucking voice. In a mix of complaint and tears, Jessie told me that she was hurt that I left her, that she regards me as someone different from other guys she's met, and that she just wanted to be loved. I told her that I honestly couldn't handle.
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