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This time the note he sent told me how much I had hurt him. I gave up, knowing I couldn't reach him and that he would never forgive me. I didn't blame him then and I still don't. I never forgave myself.I still remember what happened as if it were yesterday. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes even now, almost six years later. I get so lonely sometimes that I want to do something, go somewhere, be with someone, but I won't! I refuse to be happy, to enjoy my freedom while he is in jail. I put him there and if he has to endure being alone, so will I. It isn't as difficult as it sounds because what I did to him is what I can't forget.That day, that horrible day, when Carmine called to tell me he was held over at the hospital, I have to say I was angry. I didn't let on to him of course. It was his fault I was angry. After all, he was the one that wouldn't take the job at that fancy clinic. They wanted him to come in as a reconstruction specialist. Carmine was a genius at facial. Ab mai aapko apna ek aur naya kissa batane jaa rahi hoo.deepak ji apne kaam ke liye banaras gaye hue hai isiliye mujhe bahut problem ho rahi thi to maine socha ki kyu na kisi aur ko tab tak set kar loo apni chudai ke liye,mujhe apne laundary boy ka khayal aaya woh kareeb 18 saal ka thora lamba dubla patla kaala sa larka hai aur bhaut hi tharki hai kai baar woh mere kisi bahane se haath laga chuka hai aur mujhe dekhe ke lund dabataHai maine socha ki us hi ko mauka deti hoo. maine poori planning kar li mai shaam ko jab job se laut rahi thi to raaste me uske yaha ruk ke use raat 8 baje aane ko keh gayi aur bol diya ki mujhe urgently kuch kapre dhulwaane hai aur woh mere ghar aake dhode mai uske extra paise de doongi uske saath maine kuch adaaye dikhayi to woh fauran maan gaya maine yeh bhi keh diya ki kapre zyada hai isiliye apne ghar pe keh dena ki der ho jayegi aur agar zyada der ho gayi to mere yaha hi so jana aur subah aa jana uski khushi saaf uske chehre pe dikhayi de rahi thi.
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