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Now get your mind out of the gutter, or wherever else it strayed, I'm referring to the gift of gab.So anyway, here I am righteously denigrating these mnemonic numbers when I see amongst a page full of offers of telephonic bliss in any form you can think of, an ad for 1-900-DRESS-UP, promising to fulfill any crossdresser's dreams. So to prove I'm as human as any Presidential Candidate, I did an immediate flip-flop and decided there might be something worthwhile here after all.I didn't want any record of my folly on my phone bill, so I quickly put on my best blouse and skirt, made a short stop at the bank, and searched until I found an isolated, old fashioned phone booth complete with door. With my purse filled with my life savings in quarters, I sat down and dialed. It was an old fashioned phone with a real dial that you have to spin around, so when the artificially pleasant voice mail system droned on about pressing 1 for lingerie, 2 for leather, 3 for bras and girdles I gave the. I had the "9" part of the 947, which was a fly route, straight up field as fast as I could go. It's the single most fun route to run in football and I had it.I broke off the line clean and sprinted as fast as I could down field. After I had run about 30 yards or so, I looked up and saw the football spiraling into me. It was beautiful. I reached my hands out and snared the football and realized that no one was near me. I tucked the ball in and ran the final 15 yards for a touchdown and the completion of what many say was the greatest career and EVERYONE said was the best season of any wide receiver that had ever gone to my school. I finished the season with 74 catches for over 1,200 yards receiving and with this touchdown; I had 12 on the year. My career, well, simply put and not to be too immodest, spoke for itself. 254 catches, 3,600 yards+ and 41 of my catches were for touchdowns. But now it was all over.We had lost this game 35-14 and finished the year at 5-4. No playoffs and for.
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