Sexy Aunty

My father will be coming to pick me up in a bit, so we don't have much time." Uh, where do you want me to take you?" I asked numbly.She turned to face me. All I could make out were her bright blue eyes twinkling merrily at me from the depths of her hood. "To your house, of course."The situation was so surreal that the suggestion of taking a complete stranger to my residence actually seemed rational. With a grunt of assent, I shifted the truck into gear and continued down the road. Surely things would start to make sense once I had my hands wrapped around a steaming hot cup of coffee.As soon as we started moving, she searched through the channels on the radio until she found a station that was playing Christmas carols. Bouncing in her seat, she happily sang along. Entranced by her lilting, melodious voice, I remained silent.When we entered my split level, she moved through the first few rooms like a whirlwind, peering at this and examining that. There really wasn't much to look at in. But all of a sudden, I’m counting down to thirty. I’ve got wives and kids and have been a full-time host of a television show for five years! In the greater scheme of things, five years doesn’t sound like that much. Not like Johnny Carson or Jay Leno or any of the great talk show hosts that I never get to watch because I’m here doing my own show. But in five years on this show, I’ve hosted 779 broadcasts. Try thinking up 779 funny things to say in front of an audience!You know, guys only have so much interesting material, especially when it comes to talking to girls. They’ve got the smooth pick-up line that they’ve practiced for hours in front of a mirror. Head tilted just right. Disarming smile. Gentle voice and inflection. “Is there a temple where people worship you, or can I simply kneel right here?” Every guy has his trademark line.There was this garbage collector in New York ... I’m not joking, though I guess they’re called sanitation engineers. As he drove his truck in the.
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