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It was all consensual, I was told. They club had meetings on a regular basis and then periodically had “dungeon parties” where only members could attend. The first night that I attended a meeting, the topic was “whips and flogging” and how to properly use different types of instruments (whips, floggers, belts, etc) for that purpose. It was all done in a very non-threatening way. Nobody really approached me other than to say “hi” or “welcome to the group”. That first meeting, I sat in the back of the room and just watched. I intentionally tried to avoid much eye contact. I attended two more meetings and began to chat with other people a little. In particular, I met this man who called himself “Master John.” He was an attractive man in his mid-thirties. About my age. He was pleasant and not aggressive. It thrilled me to call him Master John. It was a small step but it was a first step toward actually being submissive to him. He asked me if I would. While other girls were dating boys, I kept to myself, making toys. I would fantasize about the big man taking my virginity under the small Christmas tree my father scraped together to buy each year. I would come so hard, I had to bury my face in my pillow, so my parents would not hear.On Christmas Eve, I would drink coffee, to stay up and see Santa. But it didn’t help. I still fell asleep before he arrived. I realized that Santa was not ready to see me yet. I had to trust that he would let me see him when he was ready.On the eve of my sixteenth birthday, I kept my usual vigil in the living room. I always decorated it extra special, with ornaments I had made, decorating the tree, and a dozen holly-scented candles illuminating the small room. I did not try any of the tricks to stay awake that I had before. I was content to wait until Santa was ready.That night I felt a special excitement. “Was this the night?” I thought.A little after midnight, I heard the faint sound of jingle bells.
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