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I want to talk about the impossible dream of a life we could have together. I want to hear him say that he loves me just as much as I love him. But I can't because he does not love me. That fact is heartbreakingly true. He loves someone else and a future together is something that could never be achieved no matter how much effort is put forth. I fully grasp the reasoning to which I cannot have the man I want and I understand that he wishes to have someone else for his wife but I keep finding myself unable to let go, despite knowing full well that I need to lock his memory away for my sanity. I find myself refusing any advances of romance or love. Despising them, even. I have noticed myself becoming hateful and bitter. I hate that I was not good enough to deserve his love and have found myself sitting and wondering what was wrong with me. He has turned me into a person that I am not and I can slowly feel more and more of myself slipping away. Still, I pathetically dream of him and the. Hot water was soon flowing. I always loved taking long, hot, showers alone, but I felt that it will be even better with someone else. The shower stall was one of those big ones, so we had plenty of room for ourselves. Not that we needed that. We were quickly pressed close against each other, our hot bodies were touching, my hands were all over Kate, hers – were softly squeezing my ass cheeks, I was kissing her shoulders, neck, finally her mouth. I was in fever. I didn't know what I was doing. I wanted more, and more, and more. Kate allowed it to go on for a while, and then she gently pushed me away. A disappointed sigh escaped my hungry lips. Then I looked her in the eyes. She had a smile on her face, but her dark-green jewels were serious. And then she started talking, and I listened. "Listen, my sweet little peach, this is a one time thing. We have this weekend for ourselves, but then..." It made me sad. I wanted to say something, but Kate just put her finger on my lips and.
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