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"Really?" he asked picking up on the fact that I was embarrassed. "You'll have to let me borrow it some time." "Um, sure," was all I could muster. "Well, why did you stop it?" he asked as he sat down on the couch. Still a bit disoriented with everything I just looked at him, "I . . . I didn't know if that was something you wanted to watch or was into." "Hell yeah, man! I haven't seen a good porno movie in a long time. Turn it back on. In fact, do you mind if I join you?" he asked. I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I just couldn't say "no" so I just nodded, "Knock yourself out," I said casually. To my surprise, he took off his shoes and socks, stood up and dropped his pants. He sat back down in the couch wearing only his boxers and the shirt he had on. He placed his hand inside his boxers and was rubbing his cock and balls as he watched the porn. Now Philip was hot. I never really looked at him or any other guy (other than Jeff) in a sexual way. I never even thought. ‘I might not be able to make it rain but I can save one little girl from that old woman,’ thought Ben as he tiptoed to the steel sink, twisted the encrusted cap from the bottle and began pouring the red liquid down the drain. As the contents neared two-thirds empty, Ben lost his nerve and righted the bottle. He stared at the remaining portion, ashamed of his cowardice as the naked skull smirked back in his face. Thirty-four years of the same treatment Lilly now faced, had made Ben moldable to his mother’s demands. It was as though the minute he crossed his parent’s threshold, his spine was jerked out of his back and locked deep away in some hidden box to which, only ‘they’ owned the key. In Houston, where he’d made a name for himself, Ben’s enemies would cross to the other side of the street seeing him coming down the sidewalk. Here, in the house of his birth, he was no braver than the thin waif of a girl who’d yelled out the truth that afternoon. ‘Where’s that bottle?’ the voice.
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