Loving Her Soft Skin Massage

I shook my head no, but I couldn't look her in the eyes. She asked againand I finally broke down and told her about me. I told her that I alwayswished I had been a girl; that I felt like I was a girl inside and that Ihated what I was. I told her that I felt like I was a straight girltrapped inside this body. I even told her that I often thought aboutsuicide because of it. I was sobbing while I told her everything. Kathyhugged me for a long time after I told her. I felt relieved to havefinally told someone. Kathy told me she would be there for me and helpme any way she could.It wasn't long after that night that my father passed away. He was outof town on a business trip and had a massive heart attack. I was sadover it, but I was also relieved. I gave my mother a few months togrieve and then I finally decided to tell her about me. I sat her downone night and spilled my guts. I told her about me feeling like a girland wanting to do something about it. She was shocked to say. As I lift my eyes, I once again catch a conspiratorial glance pass between my brothers, and brush it off as their excitement at managing to keep their present for our parents a secret this year. Gradually, the floor beneath the tree became visible. Final packages are distributed and the requisite oohs and aahs uttered. Rising, I offer to help Mom with the meal. She thanks me for the offer, but says it is pretty much ready, just has to go in the oven to cook, and suggests I play some carols for her. I laugh softly as I realize all my carol books are already spread over the beautiful old upright piano. Lifting the lid, I am overcome with wonder as always by the glittering spread of the keys. Without thought, I begin to pick out the notes of my favorite carol. A smile flickers across my face as I hear my father’s mellow tenor blend with my own husky contralto. Time seems to stand still as the warm melodies of the traditional songs flow through my body and out of my fingers. My floating.
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