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All too soon his stop approached; the lights came on and the bus began to unload. He looked down at me, smiled and winked then whispered just loud enough for me to hear, “thanks, I hope to see you again soon.” I didn’t get the chance to tell him I was off the next two days so wouldn’t be on the bus the next morning.Thursday night came and I found out my regular ride was again off work sick. It dawned on me that I had to take the bus in the morning and memories of my last trip flooded my mind – it was all I could think about all night. Before leaving work I quickly scrawled my cell phone number on a piece of paper in hopes of being able to slip it to him if I was so lucky to see him again. The hours seemed to crawl along. When work was finally over I stepped out into bitingly a cold windy morning with 6 inches of freshly fallen snow. Winter had reared its ugly head in the 8 hours I had been at work. It was still pitch black out as the sun wouldn’t be rising for at least another hour,. The first birth is one of flesh. You come into this world as something small, somebody weak and without significance. You live an unexceptional life. You go to the right school, you get the right job, you eat the right foods, you take the right pills, you date and you fuck the right people. All of the things that should make you happy.It's all so boring.The voice in your head has been there for as long as you can remember. It's a quiet voice, an unassuming voice. It doesn't tell you to kill, it doesn't tell you that you were born in the wrong body, it doesn't push you to greatness. It always repeats the exact same thing whenever it speaks to you."You could do so much better."It doesn't affect you, at least you don't think it does. It's just a normal intrusive thought, that's what everybody says. You believe them. You tone the voice out, in your darkest moments you lump it in as just another negative thought. Just another sign of depression. But it doesn't just speak in your low.
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