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”As she then got up to leave, I stood up as well and we hugged as normal, but neither of us really wanted to let go as we held onto one another. We held each other tightly and our breathing seemed to increase somewhat dramatically.She looked up at me with her big beautiful, sad but wistful eyes and said, “It’s okay, Steven, I’m okay with us getting together for some closeness if you want to.”Spluttering in response and struggling to get the words out, I replied, “Sure, you bet I do, yes, why not, good.”Without further words, we went upstairs to my bedroom where she simply got undressed and stood looking at me, her face flushed with what I hoped was lust, not an embarrassment. I paused for a moment to take in this gorgeous creature and realized that my dry spell had not been such a great idea after all. I really did want her and almost without realizing it, I got undressed as well.If words were said at this point, they were mumbled as I lay down next to Loraine and her beautiful sexy. I glanced up and nodded, and she gave me a number I could reach her at during the day.So it was settled. I'd call her in the morning to arrange meeting her for lunch. We then parted with a few more quick, uneasy goodbyes, and, as I pulled out, I watched as Gayle slowly trudged back inside, staring down at the sidewalk, her arms folded and wrapped tightly around her chest. And in that instant, I felt sorry for her. I could empathize with her, and it ached my heart that someone like her, so alive and wonderful, would have to return to a darkened, desolate room to be left alone. But what made a tear come to my eye was the knowledge that I was now doing the same thing, what I'd been doing for the last several years, and I did so passionately hate it.When I arrived home, I checked myself in the rearview mirror, to ensure Rachel wouldn't see that I'd been crying, and then I slowly followed the sidewalk to the front door and stepped inside.As I lay in bed, once again alone in my own dreary.
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