Sunny Leone Fucked Up

. I forgot the pig in the ground."Ed handed the platter to Eleanor and John stuck another in his hands. Eleanor trotted over to the registration tent and plopped the platter down. Seph was right behind her carrying five plates, cups, and eatery; knives, forks, spoons. They hustled back in time to pick up as big a platter of pork as there had been beef. The cook slopped big bowls full of ranch style beans, slaw, oven roasted taters and pre buttered corn on the cob in the hands of all four and said, "Scoot!"There were a lot of people who wanted to know how come this bunch got fed and nobody else did when the woodcutters and water haulers showed up with platters of food and sat down with the five already eating.The woodcutters all growled about 'the busy bee gets the honey' and 'there were work-lists that still needed volunteers'. "Sign up for tomorrow and get firsts at tomorrow's feast."Then the kitchen witches and helpers showed up with more food.The Town Crier walked all over the. ‘It’ll be all right.’ ‘I can’t deal with this. It’s too much. Too fucking much. I can–‘ My words and my breath heaved in my chest, everything was made thick with sobs. ‘We’ll get through this. All right? We’ll get through this together.’ But would we? Would I? I wanted to say I had no doubt, but I didn’t feel that. A nurse came in and gave me a shot of something or other for the pain but the pain did not go away. It was in my head, tearing at me. I was dying. That’s what cancer is: death. In my back and in my liver I was rotting with death. Whatever they’d say, the doctors, it didn’t matter. It was already in me. I wanted to think positively, to have hope, to really believe that I could make it through this easily. But I was already blown out. Twenty minutes I spent like that, just crying my eyes out, sobbing and cursing. I wanted to just deny it all, pretend I never heard anything and admonish this diagnosis from reality. I wanted to wake up and this would all be one terrible dream.
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