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My existence became miserable. I spent the whole time worrying about Karen and the future of our relationship and physically I could do nothing for myself. My arms and legs were next to useless and I needed help even to eat. The nurse appointed to me was businesslike and unsympathetic and I got the impression that she thought that male contact sports were only slightly less ridiculous than the men who chose to participate in them. Her name was Heather and I guess she was in her late thirties. She was reasonably good looking and reminded me of an aunt with whom I had lost contact many years previously. Boredom soon got the better of me but Heather made it clear that she had no time for idle chat. She told me that she was going off duty at seven and that the night nurse would then look in on me from time to time. At around eight I needed to use a bed bottle and I squeezed the alert switch. Heather’s replacement was a young Irish girl named Roselyn and, unfortunately for me, she was. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch, and a rueful smile crossed his lips as he turned away from me, back to the fire.‘Well, I didn’t think so, what with your boyfriend and all,’ he said, in a surprisingly normal and even tone of voice, ‘but I had to know for sure.’I put a gentle hand on his arm. ‘Oh, Zeke,’ I said softly. ‘I’m sorry.’ I knew he was hurt and disappointed, but reciprocation of affection is not really something over which one has much control ... so there was very little I could really do. ‘I’m very sorry.’‘Is it that I’m not attractive?’ He blurted suddenly, and then his pale skin reddened becomingly with a flush of embarrassment.‘No!--ah, no,’ I said, trying to pull my wits together. He was, in fact, quite attractive and striking, with a very tall, lean figure, pearly white skin, those big dark eyes, and smooth black hair. ‘Being attractive is not ... the only factor in romantic affection, not at all,’ I stumbled, groping for the right words as to what actually DID.
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