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I heard my gf say that when I get like this, I go into a deep sleep and would be out for hours. She then shocked me by saying that she was so annoyed and upset at me for getting so drunk on her big night. I couldn't believe she was saying this to Paul and embarrassing me like that but I stayed silent and just listened. She was running her hands over her stocking clad legs and I could see her red finger nail painted hands rubbing her hair. She thanked Paul so much for bringing us home and complimented his dancing. She said that I could never dance like that and she always craved a dance partner who had those skills. I was getting more shocked with every word that came out of her mouth and struggled to believe that she was actually flirting with him. I could also see that Paul was glancing over at her legs more and more. My gf then asked Paul a question, "Do you think I look attractive tonight Paul?" she said. Paul looked over at her and said, "why do you ask that?." She replied by. Then the ever present sadness intruded and squeezed her heart . The remembered pain of their separation was so strong that it still had the power to cripple her. ‘We had to separate.’ Cathryn thought out loud. ‘I know.’ Barbara whispered. Aware that she had been day dreaming, Cathryn snapped back to the present. ‘There was just no place in my life for children.’ she explained to her friend. ‘I was 35, had a successful career and no matter how much I loved Stephen, I did not want to have children.’ Not for the first time, her reasons sounded hollow to her own ears. ‘It was a little more complicated than that,’ her friend gently reminded. ‘I didn’t realized it at the time,’ Cathryn acknowledged. ‘ I just never connected my mother’s death in childbirth to my decision to remain childless.’ Barbara looked sympathetic. ‘You were only 3 years old, who could know the impact it would have on you? ‘All I knew was that my mother went to the hospital to have my baby sister and never came.
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