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They couldn’t understand our love, though. They could never understand that we were saving ourselves – our moment - for that special day, not wanting our first time to be in a car or a seedy motel room. We wanted it to be special.I wonder if they still wonder if we ever ?went all the way? back then. Do they still wonder about our first time? Could they ever understand why we waited until after graduation, for a time when we could be together without fear of interruption or hurried tackiness? I doubt it. They were all in a hurry to lose their virginity. We were in a hurry to spend our lives and love with each other. Yes, we ?did it?. But we waited for the right time and place. It was a hot summer night when we first made love. I remember shivering despite our sweat - or maybe because of it. I was clumsy, scared. I fumbled with the small buttons on your blouse, snapping one off in my slowed haste. You laughed and kissed the tip of my nose, easing my nerves. I laughed too. A sudden. He had let Antoinette see more. He hadn’t told either of them the extent of it, of what it was like for his mind to reach out, and crush the souls of human beings like they were ants, annoying, pestering, biting little ants that deserved to be squashed.Antoinette said she wanted him and her to have a more adult, mature relationship, talk with each other about serious things, vampire things. At the time, he thought that meant talk more about the trials and tribulations on a larger scale. Now, he realized, it meant he could talk about this sort of disgusting shit, the shit that got under his skin and made him hate being a vampire. Tash worked for the Prince, and he trusted her, so, this could be a trial run.“ ... it was horrible,” he said. “Yeah, it hurt being tortured, and they terrified me, and sometimes I dream about Angela’s psycho eyes.” Fucking daily torpor dreams were never so vivid before. And you couldn’t just wake up from a nightmare as a Kindred. You slept through that shit,.
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