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I'd never considered the circumstances of my discovery, but thinking about it, it did seem slightly too convenient that he was there to awaken me, and knew exactly what to do.I began to wonder how many of the subsequent events were prearranged, or perhaps inevitable in the light of what he knew about the Ancients. My head hurt as I tried to figure the man's machinations. I decided there was little I could do, other than to proceed as normal, and play my part in whatever events were unfolding."It's dark enough now," Vanessa announced. "We should go before it's too late."We emerged from our gloomy lair to take our bearings, and then head speedily off in the vague direction of the city. With two days walk to the river, then another two days beyond that to reach the outskirts of our base, the opportunities for the Guardians to detect us were not insignificant. We marched throughout the night, holding tightly to our precious cargo.On several occasions, the whine of flyer engines were. I went into them knowing they would end and always saved myself from getting too badly hurt. The flip side, is that I never really let myself be myself. I always catered to their needs and desires. Well, not totally, but it was better to be passive and agreeable than argue. And most of the time, I didn't particularly care one way or another. That's part of the problem right there. I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always.
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