You almost gave your life trying to save mine. You were brave and innocent. Nothing would have made any difference in the outcome. We both were victims of someone else, someone who halted my car and put my body to sleep there on the tracks. I forgive you, now you must forgive yourself."The dream stopped. The noises became silence. The sights froze. He had heard her words. Now he still had to believe them. Janelle tried again. "That is my body you remember in the car; this is my spirit speaking to you. I do not know how or why I can speak to you, but I know what happened there, and I know it was not your fault. Do not punish yourself for what someone else caused. Do not keep my spirit in pain because a good person hurts from my death."The scenery lightened, but it was still the image of an engine racing to collide with a car, even if it was frozen."Push the dream away. Refuse to accept delivery of the pain. It is not your pain to carry." The image of Janelle appeared, wearing the tee. But on the other hand we would likeyou to come as soon as possible."And Mom: "Well on the last two days, they don't do anything in schoolanyhow. We will say that you are sick and nobody will notice. So we canget ready for holidays as well, Marc is old enough to get to his job byhimself ... yes fine, I agree, it will be Wednesday in the lateafternoon. I will pick you up at school in Lausanne and drop you here."Christel:Wow, sounds like Coccinelle's story ...Celine:Yes I heard about it. For me it was wonderful, when we left I was happy,like hundreds of butterflies in my belly. A wonderful job, paid and Ihad been sentenced to be a girl, no escape for me, no thinking aboutbecoming normal.Christel:And how far was it from the holidays?Celine:Only three weeks.Christel:And how did you start?Celine:Precisely as we agreed. Two days before the end of school, Mom picked meup on Wednesday. The following morning she would call the school andschedule me as sick. Mom had packed my preferred items.
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