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Of course I was wrong. I got about a mile into the rest of my walk when the Triboro cop car pulled along side. I recognized the patrol sergeant from the bad old days.“Chief, what the hell you been up to,” he asked.“Just taking my morning walk Jeff, how about you?” I asked.“I got a report about a possible gang fight in progress at the convenience store down the hill. Did you see anything?” he asked.“Nope the only thing I noticed was a few kids high on weed hanging out in the parking lot harassing the customers,” I said.“Well, if you see anything give us a call,” he said.“I’ll do it,” I replied. I really didn’t want to explain the hiking stick with the weighted handle and camo paint job to some half ass liberal judge. That being the case I was glad that there were still cops who believed in street justice.When I got back I called Thia. “Hi there hon, I’m home,” I said into the phone. It wasn’t her on the other end of the line. It was some robot taking down a message. “I’m going to call. "I'm sorry Will, but this is just a short story and I haven't got the time to write and, frankly, my readers haven't got the patience to wade through, Elizabethan English. So can we switch to 20th Century US?"I'm cool," he agreed."Great! Let me introduce Ms Blue. She's a writer."And I've always wanted to meet you, Mr. Shakespeare" she cooed. Shakespeare looked up at the giantess, not knowing whether to be flattered or alarmed."So, what's cooking," I said trying to turn the conversation in a literary direction."It's this darned sonnet; it's just not working." What's the problem, Will?" Well, like there's this babe..." Will, I said '20th Century US.' You don't have to do 'Valley Girl.'" Oh, OK. Well, there's this woman and she is so hot, but I can't get anywhere with her." Blonde?" I asked glancing over at the figment."Yeah, how'd you know?" I'm one of those authors omniscient." I want to write something romantic so I can get into her pants." Do any of us write for any other reason?" I.
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