Then a finger inserted inside me and pushed up towards my cervix. I gasp slightly. “Relax!” says the doctor as he probes around a little more inside me. Then it’s over. “You can dress now.” the doctor says as he bins his gloves and turns away from me. I quickly dress and leave the room with my Dad. We make another appointment for 2 weeks time.On the journey home I tell my Dad I’m not really comfortable with the doctor, that I don’t like the examination. Dad seems concerned, but explains how important it is to ensure all’s well with the pregnancy and that the baby is developing well. I try to take this on board, but just can’t get past how humiliating it is having an internal exam on each visit. My pregnancy develops, I’m getting quite large. Every 2 weeks we attend an antenatal exam at the local hospital. I get a little more used to it each time. And I really want my baby to be OK, so I don’t complain. When I’m about 6 months along I have to attend my antenatal visit alone. As I. All I could do for the present was to go home. I got into my car and decided to listen to my Final Fantasy playlist on the way home.The drive was long, as it always was. I would wake up hours early and drive all the miles necessary to work. The work was its own reward and the miles traveled never mattered to me.My apartment wasn't much to look at, I prioritized practicality over comfort so it was one of those apartments where the kitchen and the bedroom are the same thing and the only other room is the bathroom. Its basically the real estate version of canckles. I had a small bed and a drawing desk right next to it with a box of art books and novels. A poor man's work studio.I didn't bother putting away the stuff in my box and just dropped on the welcome mat and headed straight to my bed. I plopped on to the so hard I thought I might wake the downstairs neighbor but thankfully their was only silence.As I laid I looked to my desk and noticed one of my notebooks just sitting there. It.
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