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" You fucking bet we have," Susie had laughed as the beach inspectors stepped aside to let them through. "Seen all sorts of carry-ons. Women and girls sucking cock, we've seen men eating cunt. But that aint the best of it, is it Candy? Tell 'Uncle Willy' what else we've seen." Guy with guys," laughed Candy. "Mostly it's just been one guy sucking another guy's cock. But we did get to see a guy getting fucked up the arse one time."Bill looked at them incredulous. "Seriously! Weren't there any of these beach inspectors around?" he asked as they found a spot near a couple who looked like they were about to prove both Susie and Candy right."Oh they were there all right," said Susie, "they were watching just like everyone else." You see," said Candy taking over as Susie lay down the three large beach towels they had brought with them, "they only act if there are any complaints about people's behaviour, or if one or more blokes decide to make arseholes out of themselves. Fortunately they are. When the song was over, the applause washed over the room and a standing ovation was given to the three musicians.That was awesome, Jake thought in wonder as he linked arms with his mom on one side and Cynthia on the other. I just wowed an audience with a couple of fifty-five year old married women as my back-up. They took a bow."More! More!" the guests demanded."Let's do something else," Cynthia suggested, intoxicated with the applause (and with more than a few lechaim drinks)."We don't have anything else," Jake reminded her."There must be something we can do," Cynthia said. "Some song we all know." Yes," Mary said, excited. She looked at her best friend deviously. "Let's get really wild." You mean... ?" Cynthia asked."That's right," Mary said. "Let's do some Neil Diamond." Oooh, yes," Cynthia said, clapping her hands together. "You really know how to rock, Mary!" Jake," Mary asked, "do you remember how to do Sweet Caroline?" Jesus Christ, Mom," Jake hissed. "Don't ever tell anyone.
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