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I followed him from room to room listening to his stories, I laughed when he laughed and leaned against him when he’d go quiet and remember his mother. He told me about how his home had been so different from the others because his mother encouraged him to make a mess, whether it was with the paints in her studio, mud in the backyard or food in the kitchen, she encouraged him to have a hands on approach towards anything he did and to be unafraid of creating a mess. I thought about how liberating it would be to live life without fearing any of the messes we’re likely to make along the way. By evening we were done with the place, the estate agent was going to come by the next morning with the relevant papers for Max to sign and then we would be free to leave. We drove straight back to the B&B after what must’ve been an emotionally exhausting day for Max. He was calling for room service as I headed straight to the bathroom to fill the tub. I opened the pack of scented candles I’d. I do remember looking over some lingerie in a few shops… Through this all, I kept masturbating with pillows, often spreading my legs, wondering what it would be like to have a man inside them, pushing his rock hard cock into my pussy. I knew I wasn’t gay per se…I never did imagine havng sex AS a man with a man. I still don’t. But I also knew that I had desires to be satisfied sexually as a woman. I often fantasized that I was a girl, my wet, heavy breasts bobbing in rhythm to the stud’s pounding of my loins, making me cum over and over again. However, I am pretty sure I wasn’t dressing. I remember thinking about it a few time though, when I was really drunk, usually on Tequila Sunrises. Come to think of it, I’ve always had a weakness for “girl” drinks too. Sweetheart and I began writing, she sending the first letter and before I knew it, I was going back to school at the university she attended. We got into a fight almost immediately. I began drinking heavily, I had roommates and.
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