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I've heard this guy is a real douchebag. He never gives out A's." Oh, great. Nervously, I put my pencil in my mouth, a bad habit established in high school. I am usually a straight-A student, and I don't like to feel pressured. Jack stands up and loudly says, "Alright, kids, simmer down!" Uh, who are you to tell us to simmer down? Lame-o, you're our peer in here. This is not old man business 101. "My name is Professor Jack Lasion. I like to pretend I'm one of you every semester to get a feel for how this class will be." Oh fuck, I just told the professor I wasn't looking forward to his class. "For those of you who were late, I'm not going to make this easy for you. Prepare to be on time because the real world is not going to wait for you." He looks at me as I blush. Here we go with the syllabi review… 3 exams? Great, just great. One of them is on November 7th, my sister's wedding. What am I going to do? Professor Lasion suddenly calls on me, "Britney, you can daydream in psychology. Guy from the hospital, sometimes it's a nurse, comes around almost every day and checks up on me. But I can get out of bed, get to the toilet. And I can pull on shorts but not my shirt."He was bare-chested with a towel around his scrawny neck, and I noticed the frizzy white hair on his wrinkled body."Oh, and Meals on Wheels comes around most every day too and the lady downstairs visits sometimes." So how can I help you?" I asked."Well," he said with a smile, "You could sit there and let me look at you."We both laughed."OK, two things. You can fetch my beer from the store on the corner. They won't sell it to you, but they'll let you carry it home. I paid them on-line, got an account there. Two six-packs, tain't too heavy. I usually buy a case so he gave me that price, nice guy."I nodded.He screwed up his face. "And, well honey, you can get me off, or at least help me. Fore this happened, I could usually do it with the computer porn and some hand friction, and I still have my left.
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