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This loss, the slow grind of acceptance, is terrible. You fill my thoughts and my heart hurts. I wish for a different outcome. Crazy thoughts shoot through my head, bouncing off memories of you. What if I’d called sooner? I should have sent more little positive messages. I should have just asked permission to visit. If I had, you’d still be here, fighting. Then I wouldn’t have this huge ache inside. I recognize these thoughts as foolish, and I brush them aside. I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t stand to hear you talk about the pain. It made me feel helpless, the simple words I had to offer seeming insignificant and paltry. The ache is eased simply knowing your pain is forever gone. I smile thinking of you reunited with your daughter. The daughter we all wanted, who left too soon. I can see you both, beautiful and happy, relaxing together in a warm, sun dappled meadow, finally at peace. I. It had been a while since I had fed. Elbe looked delicious and highly nutritious. Despite her shy and timid nature, she was funny and sociable, once she felt at ease around someone. Her straight strawberry blond hair was tied up with a blue scarf, revealing a cute freckled face, slender neck, and narrow shoulders. I wouldn’t call her spindly, but she had a natural disposition for thinness, something I could only be envious about. Her posture was elegant, lower back at the perfect angle and her tush sticking out. Despite her modest curves, she had a refreshing feminine air.She turned back my way. I must have been a bit too obvious about looking at her because she gave me that maddening shy grin again. I answered with a warm smile of my own, resisting the impulse to run my eyes up and down her slender frame.“What?” She smiled nervously and blushed, putting in a commendable effort to stand firm under my scrutiny.“Nothing,” I said, enjoying the mild unease I caused her. She was so cute.
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