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Not enough to giveup half of my stuff anyway. A man collects lots of neat shit over theyears. My power tools. My vintage Corvette, black as the deep darkcorners of that shrews heart. My signed baseballs. She'd take them all,and well, it's just plain cheaper to keep her, as I like to say to myfriends when I'm very,very far from her.I've told my story to anyone who would listen...I dunno I guess I feelbetter after hearing myself detail my misery filled midlife crisis. Turnsout not long ago, that 'anyone' was the Devil. Oh I didn't know it atfirst, he was a younger guy in a sports jersey cheering the Sox rightnext to me. We shared some laughs, had some beers, and I told him my warstories. Battles hard fought over gardening and chores. Blood spilled inthe fight for the freedom to be lazy on Sundays and all that. Guy was aGREAT listener, asking the right questions at the right times. Leading medown deep alley of memory after another, until I was nearly yelling,bawling, and laughing at the. And yet I survived … I kept returning to this barbaric world that had once, so long ago, called to me. I wore other collars and I served other men but something within me was dead. I had well hidden a torn and bleeding heart beyond a tall wall of thorns and dared anyone to try to even come close. I became almost untouchable, throwing myself in my studies, determined to become the best, the most desired yet the most elusive. Maybe I achieved that … maybe I didn’t. But I was well on my way. Funny how just when you think that you have settled into the path of a new journey that the past has a way of flying right back up in yourface. I had moved on … or at least as far as I was willing to move on. I was owned and had a collar and had a Home and had found a place … a place in a trophy case, upon a shelf only to be taken down to be shown off. In my desire to become the best I had also lost my whole sense of being, my whole reason for doing and now I had been reverted to a trophy upon a.
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