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What is this? Dear god. Dear Jesus, sweet Jesus. George, Harold… She begins to suspect the answer is beyond her reach. She sends out fingers of desire, need, thought- tries to project them into her past, pull out something stable. The images seep through her fingers like fine sand peppered with doubt. Irving, Johnothan, Kenneth, Lyle… She has a deep envy of the living. She is tired of her half-existence. She is tired of being sad, tired of not even minding that someone her age should grieve. And in the thin bony box of her head she understands, and accepts, the fact that her immense unhappiness is doomed to irrelevance anyway. Why worry? Why yearn toward a dream that is doomed to be unfulfilled? Because it would ease my regret. The woman can’t even express her inner turmoil to others, apart from holding onto a loud, scratchy moan. She does this, on occasion, to no effect. She feels a part of her wanting to go back to the things she used to like- the feel of a new toothbrush against. "If you get afraid, I will be back here in a flash. That's my promise to you..." That was Polly playing the mother card on both of us. We hugged and kissed and they were led away within their moving cocoon, and I was once more alone.I was feeling sorry for myself when Constance came in, hopped up on my bed, and said, "SO! I hear you're awake? I've got news for you. YOU are really boring when all you do is sleep day and night!" And we were off and running...The days dragged as Doctor Abrams tried various treatment options. Polly was back in less than a week, and Hawk came over when it was time for me to go home. We enjoyed the trip back. Air Force One was a wonderful way to travel, even if we had to talk over the results of my stay in Sweden."Angela has some kind of recurring infection, most likely caused by the plague. Her body produced antibodies for everyone else except her. As crazy as that sounds, her blood can heal millions, but not her." Polly was running it down for Hawk, as we.
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