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Wherever she went, heads would turn,Both men and women ogling her;The prince thought that, to keep her pure,He must assign a guard he'd swornTo defend and preserve her virtue,And by the force of arms to keepAway would-be lovers, though weepShe might, that she might remain true.Of course, for such an essentialTask, no ordinary man wouldDo; the guard who guarded her shouldBe sexually incapable--In other words, a eunuch--but,With this plan, there was one thing wrong:The stock of eunuchs was not long--A problem solved with but a cut,Though, some would say, the unkindestCut of all, and, throughout the halls,Men were fearful they'd lose their ballsAt the prince's callous behest. It is unfortunate to beOf service to the one who wearsThe crown, for such a one oft bearsScars of rule's expediency.In this case, the man whose manhoodWas lost was the manliest manThe prince could find, a man named Dan,Whose rigid member, when it stoodUpright, in all its glory, mustHave measured a cubit or more,In. He knew and loved the game of baseball like I did and he had a baseball card collection that was out of this world, which is how the whole thing really started. We were playing catch one hot July day when I was 11, just he and I. My brother was off doing older brother things and my sister was at her friend's up the street, so I was glad for his company. After about twenty minutes, we were hot and sweaty and he told me he had a glove signed by Mickey Mantle, and did I want to see it? Did I? Absolutely! So we went to his place, he gave me a Coke (there were absolutely no drugs involved, he didn't do anything like slip me a sleeping pill or anything like that) and we went back to his bedroom. He took the glove down from the top shelf of his closet and showed it to me, let me hold it and try it on (gently) then he let me put it back by lifting me up by the waist and resting my but on his shoulder.As I stretched to put the glove away, that's when his hand crept up my leg for the first.
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