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And she kindly volunteered." Okay. So where do I do the asking out?" At the lunch table. All the girls want to be able to give critiques, and maybe the guys will pick up a few pointers." You realize how incredibly embarrassing this is going to be for me, right?" Yeah, but I am okay with that."Another smile as she turned back on the radio. I guess I had my instructions.The day seemed to drag on towards lunch. I am not sure why I was nervous. I mean, I wasn't really asking her out and it wasn't a real date. Maybe because I knew this was going to be just about the most embarrassing thing I had ever done.Finally, it was lunchtime. I picked Zoe up from her class, as usual, and we headed for the cafeteria."So, do I get lunch first?" No. One of the girls brought you something so you could focus. Just walk up to the table and give it your best shot."The look on my face probably said volumes."Don't worry. It will be okay. Sure it will be embarrassing, but I will make sure you are well. And when we made love, he made me scream with pleasure and spent all night cuddling. That’s why I had to walk away from him. Kevin was too good of a guy for me just to use and throw away. Because that’s what I would have done to him. I probably could have gotten him to marry me, buy me a big house in the suburbs and sucked him dry if I had wanted. But I couldn’t do that to him. Not that way. In the last year, I’ve gotten a divorce, been laid off my job, lost my house, and moved my kids across three states to live with my parents. I was a wreck in all possible ways: mentally, emotionally, financially and even physically. I was in no condition to start a relationship, and I knew it. I prayed that Kevin knew it too. He looked heartbroken when we shared our last kiss. That’s why I had to leave him standing there in an airport full of people. It was for the best. At least that’s what I told myself. So there I sat in my car, bawling like a baby. I had turned my back on what could have been.
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