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Home of the Free!TRANSLATING WOMEN’S ENGLISHYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoWe need = I wantI’m sorry = You’ll be sorryWe need to talk = I need to complainSure, go ahead = I don’t want you toIs my bum fat? = Tell me I’m beautifulDo what you want = You’ll pay for this laterI’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re deadYou have to learn to communicate = Just agree with meBe romantic, turn out the lights = I hate my thighsYou’re so ... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lotDo you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensiveIt’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by nowYou’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TVHow much do you love me? = I did something today that you’re really not going to likeTRANSLATING MEN’S ENGLISHI’m hungry = I’m hungryI’m sleepy = I’m sleepyI’m tired = I’m tiredNice dress = Nice cleavage!I. They seemed mollified with my answers and skipped off to share their new gossip.I got a cup of coffee and fiddled with my phone while waiting in the center of the mall for him to arrive. When I looked up he was ordering coffee for himself and a girlfriend of mine. I supposed I couldn't get jealous, but for a second I would have torn out her hair for getting close to him. They walked over to join me and she immediately began to explain how she just ran into him and started talking. I smiled brightly and without any hint of anxiety welcomed her with a peck on the cheek, lovely to see you, glad you came, yes we're having a nice Christmas.He was very deft at dodging her somewhat clumsy advances. They reminded me of myself just a little too much for comfort. I am sure he could have played me off just as easily if he had wanted to, but he had not. He took opportunities when she spoke to smile at me with what appeared to me a mixture of warm longing and happiness. I found that it echoed my.
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