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I came within one minute and all I could think about was that I wanted to show again and maybe show more. My exhibitionist is kind of unique I think, I love to show and to tease but I don't really feel the need to sleep with other men, I would rather masturbate or think about it when I have sex with my boyfriend (I just know that you are all wondering why I didn't fuck with the boys next door!) So when would be my next opportunity?I left the bathroom and Maria had already started on the vodka, so while she was showering I forgot about the hangover and started catching up with her in terms of drinks. She came out of the shower singing, dancing, and naked, and ready to have a good night. We dolled up and headed for dinner at a beach club called Scorpios and then to a beach party nearby, where we had lots of drinks and where Maria almost got us into trouble with guys about 100 times! We went back to the hotel at around 3 am, I had sobered up a little but Maria was still completely wasted. Yes, she was well aware that the closer anyone got to her the more shefelt she had to back up in order to re-establish that all-importantneutral zone. She needed space. She needed separation. Otherwise how elsecould she figure out where she ended and other people began? And if thosepeople decided to leave, as, in her experience, they invariably did atsome point, they might take something of her with them that she couldn?tlive without.Like her heart, for instance.The problem wasn?t that she couldn't get close to people but that she hadsuch a need for love that she felt her own self could get swept away inthe rush of that need.She knew she had abandonment issues, how could she not, having been givenup for adoption as an infant. She hardly needed a shrink to tell herthat. Like duh-uh, you really think so, Dr. Gertzoff? Geez. It neverwould have occurred to me. You?re a genius. Please. The only thingtherapy had taught her was that it wasn't true that you could changesomething by talking.
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