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“The first day he did, but since then nothing.”“Really? Is he gay?”I laughed again. “No, he isn’t, and by the way, the other day he asked me the strangest question.”What?”“What it felt like to fuck.”“Eww, I can’t even imagine how it would be to have him on top of me, those skinny legs and arms, no thanks.”“Anyway, I told him, and he then confessed that he had never done it; he doesn’t even have a girlfriend.Mandy pushed away her plate with the lunch leftovers. “That doesn’t surprise me.”“I think it’s a bit sad; he is such a nice guy, after all.”Mandy tilted her head and said, “Well, you could always give him a welfare fuck.”“A what?”“You know, fuck a guy that’s not your type just to make him feel good.”“Shit, I wouldn’t do that, first of all, I am dating Mike, and second I don’t like Josh in that way.”She giggled. “I thought you said he was a nice guy and all?”“Yeah, I did, but still, not my type.”“You are a hypocrite, did you know that?”I drank from my juice before saying. “No, I’m. I enjoyed me self like I hadn’t for bloody ages. In the end when I shot me bolt I were bloody knackered.I sat down. Our Elsie pushed me tea in front of me. It were cold, bloody inedible like. I flung it at her, “Am off down bloody chippy, you coming our Lucy?”“What about us?” Elsie whined.“Thee made bloody muck, thee can bloody eat ont,” I told her.Our Lucy pulld her breeches up and that and off we went.They were shocked to see I down Chippy, They let us go first in queue on account of none of ‘em wanted the sack.“Two Haddock and a bag o' chips,” I says, “And what ever thee’s having,” I gestured towards our Lucy.“I’ll have a meat pie,” Lucy says, “The big un, what sort of meat is it.”“Horse,” Chippy said, “Thee Faither lets us have pit ponies cheap when they’re knackered.”“Lord Blagthorpe to thee, any road round she ‘ent me daughter no more ‘cause I been poking her and she’s mine now.”“Not till you put a ring on me finger I ent,” Lucy says, “You ent me dad, you ent me.
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