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He felt a slight chill in the air as his eyes fell upon the diving board at the end of the pool. He tucked his shrunken dickhead into his Speedos. He strode openly to the diving board, his feet splayed out, ten and two until he got to the board. Mounting the board he scurried to the end of the board yodeling, "Ayyy," jumped up, and landed on both broad flat feet with a CLUNK followed by a SPROING. His sprawled-out body rose up into the air just as a loud voice cried out, "Hey!" Peen, pausing momentarily in the air, stretched his arms and legs out, starfish-like as both fingers and toes were grasping at the air. Then he descended towards the watery surface and landed in a belly-flop with a loud KERPLASH upon the surface of the glistening pool. Peen could be seen through the clear chlorinated waters, his bony body writhing underwater then drifting upward. His face emerged hair splayed back from his visage, coughing and hacking. "Nay, nay," he whimpered and with effort, he dog-paddled. "He huddles them close to him and I hear him whisper my question, they all nod their heads so I decide, "What's your name?"He answers, "John, Sir."I want to fucking complain about the 'Sir' comment but decide I've been made the de facto commanding officer, whether I like it or not, so I order, "Okay John, you need to relay everything I say to them and let me know if they have any questions."I look at everyone and begin, "Unless anyone else wants it, and I know there are some former officers here who are more than qualified, and since Glen is MIA, I am assuming command."One of the officers raises his hand and I hope like hell he is going to take command but then he shoots me down when he states, "Jack, you've already done a hell of a job just keeping us from being shot. Plus with Banzai, your former sniper, here raising hell with the greenies I can't think of a better man to command this rag tag group."Linus (the fucking bastard) kills any further hope of me being able to weasel out of.
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