ZIA DAM – 08 NOV
But I wanted more. I wanted her toembrace this.I slid the scissors higher up as I pulled away from herlips, her hair once again hiding her angry andfrightened eyes. “You’re at another threshold, hon. Andthis is a big one. I can help you to some degree – infact, you may say that I’m dragging you along. But thisthreshold you have to cross on your own.” The front of her sweater fell away revealing the blacklacy bra holding her breasts. A few snips along herarms up to her bound elbows and the sweater was nomore. “There’s something waiting for you on the otherside of this next threshold. Something I know you knowis there.”I snipped the thin ribbon of lace between her breastsand the bra fell away – I could have unhooked it, butwhat the hell, I had already started cutting. Two moresnips and I tossed the remainder of the lace bra intothe corner. Her breasts now hung, firm and full, herhair brushing the upper rise of flesh.“Fuck. My mother, by her extremely delicate feeling, shut herself off from much knowledge of the world, which was the reason why she had such implicit belief in my virtue until I had seen twenty-two years, and kept, or nearly so, a French harlot. I imagine I must have slept with this maid, and certainly, I did with some female, in a room called the Chinese room, on account of the color of the wallpapers. I recollect a female being there in bed with me, that I awoke one morning feeling very hot and stifled, and that my head was against the flesh; that flesh was all about me, my mouth and nose being embedded in hair, or something scrubby, which had a hot peculiar odor. I have a recollection of a pair of hands suddenly clutching and dragging me up on to the pillow, and of daylight then. I have no recollection of a word being uttered. This incident I could not long have forgotten, having told my cousin heard of it before my father did. He used to say it was my maid.I suppose I must have slipped.
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