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‘For Christ sake Santa Claus is gay!’ he screamed in terror as he tried to escape going over the couch. ‘Wait! I can explain! Please…won’t you give me just a few seconds to explain?’ I asked hoping he would believe me. ‘See I am really a female and very sexy looking, but tonight on the way to the casino Santa got run over by me. And the little green dudes turned me into him.’ I tried explaining and knew it sounded like an over active imagination working here. ‘You need serious rehab Mister.’ he told me while not noticing the elves with a huge green bag that they placed him in. ‘What are you doing? That is called kidnapping! I don’t need to have kidnapping added to killing Santa Claus!’ I yelled at them as they were busy tying up the bag with my true love in it. We jumped in the sleigh finishing the delivery of all the Christmas gifts. When we got to the North Pole it was so white and sparkled with a beautiful Castle, huge candy canes that were a fence around the castle, fairies. But when we hang out I am usually the last one on the dance floor and the first one to sit back down. I must admit, reading my own description of my social life makes me want to fall asleep. > > "Come on, Claudia," my friends would say. "Have a drink, hook up with someone and forget where you left your thong in the morning," They were party girls alright, and last Friday night I decided I would take a journey through their world. > > A new club had opened in town and we were all excited to try it out. The drinks were cheap and the guys were plentiful, so the girls were happy enough. I had something else on my mind, though. Ever since I was s*******n, I found myself thinking more about girls than boys when I masturbated. Any time I attempted to meet someone for a romantic time, I only ever wanted women. Ten years on and it is exactly the same. > > Don't get me wrong. When the girls and I get a few drinks inside us, we end up with our tongues and fingers inside of each other. But a lot.
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