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” He said rubbing my back. “I’m fine. Just got done cooking; dinners ready. Go to the kitchen I’ll be there soon.” I told him. After dinner Ryan went back upstairs to finish the last of his school work so we could “play” with each other. All I kept thinking about was how I was going to get out of this. I felt so stuck; I didn’t want to do anything with 14 and 15 year olds. That’s sick they don’t know what they are doing, but I didn’t want to endanger our lives either. My only solution would be to just do it and hope they didn’t screw me over and ask for me. I thought to myself “Their just horny little kids trying to get some ass. They won’t last more than an hour.” I decided to just do it and go on with our lives, and maybe I’d move when Ryan started college.The week went by really quickly; I found myself kissing Ryan goodbye as he left the house to go to visit a college with his friend Kyle. “Maybe those boys will forget about it?” I thought out loud, but I doubted it. Not an hour. I am so confused.Mothers and sons do not feel this way about each other. Oh sure, some crazy doctor, a hundred years ago, had written some theory's about mothers and their sons - but what was my excuse?As in so many things, since my husband left me, I blamed him. His weakness for a younger, prettier and more voluptuous woman sickened me. His final, parting, words taken as fact, so that I never went out, never dated, and told myself that I hated men. Mostly, though I simply did not trust them - all except my son. Perhaps that was why this realization of his affections, of his kinky desire for me, was so difficult? I knew my son loved, me, and that I loved him - so this love-lust, thing was new to me.I had been sexual ignored for so long, months before that bastard walked out, that I started to have suspicions of that my husband had been having an affair. He was not a great lover, but he had always had a steady desire to mount me once or twice a week. These suspicions caused me to.
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