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Classes in middle school – where we had to shower together after class. I was taunted unmercifully. There was one k** Jacen – a big black k** who was already like a man physically – who appointed himself as my tormentor. He would slap my buttocks and grab at my tits and get the entire class laughing and going along with him. I begged my mom to take me to the doctor to get testosterone injections, but she refused. She just laughed it off. She kept asking me if I was a queer, or not. She’d say things like: “You’re a sissy. Do you like the boys at school?” Things like that. And I would get so furious at her – probably because somewhere, deep down, I knew she was right.Soon after puberty kicked in I began to experiment with my sexuality. My mom was living with a black guy named Ron then. He let me know that he had nothing but disgust for me. He told me that his son who was 2 years younger than I was, was more of a man than me and would easily kick my ass. Anyway, Ron had a stash of sex. ?Please don?t go,? he whispered, ?please??I looked at him.?Why are you crying?? I asked, barely making any noise at all.His face became serious.?Because I hate how I?ve made you feel, what I?ve put you through,? hewhispered.?How you?ve made me feel?? I was stunned. It seemed incredulous.He nodded. ?You said you?ve been hating yourself since last night,and, well, it sickens me to say this, but all that is on me.?I couldn?t believe it. What? How?The look on my face asked the question for me.?Please, can we sit down again? Together??Gary pointed at the two-seater sofa near the kitchen. I wiped mycheeks dry and moved to it, taking the right-hand seat. Gary slowlysat down next to me, but we weren?t touching in any way.Still, I could feel his vitality. His warmth.?I have a confession to make,? he began, ?look, remember our firstlesson, how I told you I?m a truth-teller??I nodded. ?Yes, I remember.??I drilled it into my girls when they were growing up. Tell thetruth, always. .
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