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He became so embarrassed, he fled the room. It turns out that I hadn't heard all his thoughts as he had been masturbating while thinking of me, sometimes. Well, when he confessed this, I'm afraid I didn't handle it very well. I was upset, of course, but more importantly, I refused to speak to him for several days."Finally, I decided that no harm had come of it. He never touched me or said anything lewd to me, so I decided that it wasn't that big of a deal. I was hurrying home to tell him when I saw the ambulance in our driveway."They tried to stop me, but I saw him before they could. He had gone in my room and sat on my bed and put my father's shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger."I became sick at my stomach when she said it. Visions of my own suicide came flooding back as I turned my head to throw up on the floor. I didn't even have time to get to the bathroom.Rachael's cry drew the attention of the morning staff and Mable and a young girl I did not know, were immediately by. "Now get up and go to bed, before I decide to give you more!"I rushed upstairs as fast as I could, as I certainly didn't want to get caught. When I got back to my room, my heart was fluttering and my knees were wobbly. Although the thought of my Mum suffering was awful, at the same time something stirred in me that was exciting in a way I didn't understand at the time.I tried to get my Mum to tell me about it, but short of asking her outright I couldn't think of what to say. "Is everything okay with you and Dad?" "Oh yes, it's fine. One day you'll understand the relationship between a man and woman is very complicated."My curiosity about how often this happened got to me, and I waited about a month until we were together in the living room one evening and noticed that they were both very quiet. I made some excuse about having a rough day and said I was going to have an early night, and went off to bed. I had purposely left my book in the living room, as I needed an excuse,.
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