Sucking A White Guy

” “They don’t like that in heaven,” God said. The woman replied, “They’re not too happy about it in Costco either!”1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn’t!2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.5. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.6. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.9. I’m not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.10. Out of my mind ... Back in five minutes.11. God must love stupid people; He made so many.12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.14. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?15. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!16. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be. He said I could stay at his house until he got back, and I took him up on his offer. I considered leaving but it was too hard. I really enjoy being at his home. My parents’ house isn’t that much smaller than his, but it would have been cramped with my parents hounding me constantly about dating an older man. Get over it, Mom and Dad; he and I are madly in love.Anthony and I talk every day. He’s loving being on a movie set again. I knew he wanted to go, so even though I made a big deal about it I was happy he got this opportunity. He was born in New York so it’s sort of like a homecoming, but I know he misses California, and me. I know I miss him terribly. I tell him that every day. But he’ll be home tomorrow night, and I cannot wait to put my arms around him and give him lots and lots of kisses.I try to stay busy with work. Even though he’s gone, Anthony still gets a lot of scripts from people to look over. I do my best with the workload but whenever I get bored or tired or start.
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