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They did have small skinny bodies propelling them around the place. But they were mostly brains. Big, throbbing, green and yellow brains with a pair of bloodshot eyeballs staring out from underneath them. "Your race is nearly run, earthlings!" one of them cried in a voice like an electric pencil sharpener. "The end! The end!" cried Frank, banging his head against the lunch counter, perhaps feeling that mortification of the flesh was called for. "Your technology has advanced more quickly than your capacity for making wise choices in how you use it," explained the alien being. "So, for the greater good of the galaxy, we have come here to eliminate your species." "Can't you give us another chance?" pleaded Tommy. "It is true that some of the older generation try to settle their differences with nuclear weapons. But there is no need to eliminate all of us. Some of us are able to find peaceful ways of settling our disputes." "Yes, that's right!" agreed Enola, quickly hiding her. Sure, the public would get screwed, but they'd sell the new discs as much harder and scratch-resistant. When the CD's started warping years later? Oh, so sorry. But good news is they will disappear completely in few years -- good for environment, no?Some of our bunch were a little ticked about helping them pull off a scam like that, and it took a lot of talking around the lab before we finally hammered out a compromise and I was shipped off to Japan.So we're finally there. Only, well, be honest: if you're reading this, you're probably looking for the sex. And we haven't gotten to that bit yet. Sorry.Look, it'll save us all a lot of trouble if I kick it into high gear. I get to Japan; chauffeured limo picks me up; five-star hotel; the works. But then I spend three days being bounced around offices at HQ, never seeing anything but low-level flunkies who give me gap-toothed Letterman smiles as interpreters drone on about the power and the glory of Ekasa. Finally on the fourth day they.
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